I was stuck in a self-help hamster wheel for 10+ years. I was addicted to every book, video, and podcast promising change. I'd have blips of progress, but nothing lasted. 

I'm happy to report that I've broken that loop.

I know, I know. Another dude on the internet with the secrets to life. But what I'm going to break down here is what would have helped me 10 years ago. 

First, let me put my money where my mouth is. In the past year, I've made huge strides in growing as a human being. 

• I've lost ~40lbs while putting on a ton of muscle
• I'm a better parent and husband
• I have new healthy habits on auto-pilot
• My productivity has skyrocketed
• And overall, I'm just happier

How did I finally make change happen? The short answer is... there is no short answer.

This is part 1 of 3, where I'll outline how growth happens from a systems thinking perspective.

Ultimately, we'll tie it all together to help identify where your bottlenecks are.

Once you know that, you can apply leverage in the right spot. 

At this point, it makes sense to introduce the diagram I want to talk about today. It's one sub-system in the larger system of change: The system of belief.

Here's a quick summary of the diagram:

You live and have experiences. Experiences give you new information. Your self-worth largely influences how much of that information you consciously consider. Through the filter of self-worth, new beliefs emerge (or don't emerge.)

Tip: Many lines in systems diagrams have a + or - sign. This means it's increasing or decreasing the thing it's connected to. 

Key point #1: Your self-worth influences how you form new beliefs

What does self-worth have to do with processing new information? Well, it turns out a shit ton.

Most of the data backing this comes from "Self-Affirmation Theory." And no, it does not mean looking in the mirror and telling yourself, "I am beautiful."

Self-Affirmation Theory, TLDR:

When faced with information that challenges people's self-concept (such as feedback suggesting incompetence or a personal failure), individuals experience this as a threat and react defensively. 

Self-affirmation can make individuals more open to accepting and dealing with threatening information. You're less likely to react defensively if you have high self-worth.

Several techniques can help improve self-worth by allowing individuals to focus on and affirm their positive qualities. Some examples are:

• Writing about how you embody your values
• Gratitude journaling
• Strengths assessments
• Reflecting on goals and what you've accomplished

Studies have shown that raising self-worth helps people get better grades, lose weight, and quit smoking. It draws a clear connection between self-worth and the ability to integrate new information into your worldview.

When you think you're a good person, you magically act like one.

If you want to dig into the studies, check Google Scholar out.

This makes sense. If you think you're a piece of shit, you're always in defensive mode. And we're less likely to update our belief systems. It's a defense mechanism.

Key point #2: Beliefs are a gateway to change, but not change itself

So, at this point, I started forming new beliefs. I sought out new information and actually started to consider it. Not necessarily because my self-worth had improved but because the pain increased so much that I had no other option. 

In hindsight, I may have started taking in this information sooner if I had spent more time increasing my self-worth instead of waiting for the pain to be so enormous I couldn't take it any longer.

But those new beliefs were only a stepping stone in conquering my addiction. I needed to take action.

And that action was a massive battle in itself.

In the following article, we'll dive deeper into change by exploring the system of "action" and how it connects to the system of belief.

And further, in the third installment of this series, we'll look at the entire system of change holistically (belief is just one component). When we tie it all together, it will help identify where your bottlenecks are. And once you know that, you can apply leverage in the right spot. 

Catch you later, dudes ✌️